Are your high expectations causing you and others grief? Over these summer months we want to pack so many activities into our already busy schedules. We want to fit in our work, social time with friends and spouse, chores, and the list goes on. When we aren’t able to meet our goals we can become easily frustrated with ourselves and others.
“I’m not good enough” or “My work is not good enough” Sound familiar?
High expectations tend to be unrealistic and can lead to a nagging sense of inadequacy. Instead of inspiring greatness, our goals are more likely to foster disappointment. These expectations set us up for a fall by assuming we all have super human capabilities and that life’s interruptions or limited time will never get in the way of our lofty plans.
We live in a hyper-competitive culture. We’re encouraged by society, others and ourselves to be successful, win first place, have a high income and a big house. Don’t forget to take care of all your tasks in the “right” way. Your productivity must soar and your home remain spotless. The meals you prepare must be healthy and nutritious while you make sure the needs of your dinner guests are always met.
You don’t need to remove your ambition or lower your standards to be happy. You can meet your goals and foster a growth mindset simply by reframing your expectations. Take climbing a mountain for example. Instead of focusing on when you will reach the top choose to focus on the smaller steps you are taking towards your destination. Get excited and reward yourself for taking each step.
This summer, if you find you give yourself impossible tasks to live up to, here is my challenge for you. Focus on whether you gave a good effort rather than if you accomplished your task. If you didn’t make it to all the places you wanted to visit but you did manage to enjoy one or two get-aways, acknowledge yourself. Rather than focusing on the achievement of your goal try honing in on the lesson you learned or if you were able to make a useful contribution. If you didn’t get to see all of your friends but you did make time for some very dear ones, remind yourself of what really matters to you.
This week choose a personal expectation to reset. What’s a more realistic and joyful goal you could take on? Refocus on the journey rather than the destination. This will help you enjoy the process and live more in the present moment. Focus on what matters most to you and remind yourself that good enough is good enough. I understand! You want to ‘get things done’ while still having fun. Resetting your expectations will help you enjoy yourself fully this summer and still be proud of the work you accomplish. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and stressed out let’s connect and chat over coffee. I’ll buy! Call 250-334-8491.
Amy Englemark is a self care expert, writer and speaker. She can be reached at www.amyenglemark.com