A June panel on isolation highlighted the medical concerns, put a spotlight on the problem, and made many of us feel that we need to do something about the problem of isolation for seniors in our communities.
I met Mehrnez Davidson, a local counsellor, for a coffee and we tried to brainstorm solutions. Davidson sees many older people who are isolated and lonely and just want someone to talk to. After the panel, I dropped by the L’Arche “I Belong” Centre and was told a story of a local senior, who just moved into the neighbourhood and was invited in for a chat.
I thought of this when Davidson said that some of her clients just need to feel like they “belong.” The Filberg Center is wonderful and has great programs, but it is large and program-oriented – it may not always address the need to belong.
In the panel, Ron Burr, a retired activity aide in long-term care, told of visiting a resident and chatting and she said she would like to have a manicure. So, he spent a relaxed time putting nail polish on her fingernails and having a lovely chat. The next time he visited, she was accompanied by 11 other residents who wanted “what she had.”
The B.C. government is allocating some funds to provide for a Community Connector (in the Comox Valley and in other communities), and that person could certainly help seniors find resources and activities that would help them address isolation. There is something about this idea of belonging, community and a sense of being valued and appreciated that will not be addressed by information alone.
Davidson is Persian and she explained to me, how connected she is to family and community; everyone is honoured and accepted. We live in a society that values independence and achievement, and often seniors feel their day in the sun is over. Unless they can run a mile, or win a swimming contest they are no longer valued in the society and don’t feel that they belong anywhere.
When my mum was in assisted living, for a little while they had a cook who made cookies and had a 'coffee at 11' once a week who got the conversation going, and seniors loved it. Unfortunately, the coffee meetings did not last very long.
Davidson told me an older woman she knows is going to church, although she does not believe, but just wants and needs to feel she is a part of a community.
Perhaps we need scattered throughout our communities, small places where four or five seniors could gather for a morning coffee or tea and a chat and a facilitator to help the conversation. This idea sounds simple enough and would likely have many beneficial spin-off effects.
Davidson and I had a lovely first visit over coffee, and agreed that a lot of isolated seniors need to feel they are worth listening to; they need to have a sense of belonging, they need to feel connected and they need their life stories to be heard and honoured. Now - to make it happen!
Jennifer Pass is the co-ordinator of Comox Valley Elders Take Action.
