Coalition reports to MP about recent meeting

Dear editor,

I’d like to bring MP John Duncan up to speed and offer our continuing support.

Dear editor,

After just returning from another of our regular Vancouver prayer breakfasts, just thought I’d bring MP John Duncan up to speed and offer our continuing support.

In attendance: our corporate execs (from CCCE, oil, mining, tobacco, banking, armament, defence, media) as well as our zealous Pentecostal leaders, Zionists, and Christian Zionists. We were honoured this time with a Romney campaign organizer.

Absent this time: — developers/realtors and the NRA. Suffice it to say: anyone with “common sense” was there.

We discussed our economy, and all agreed — and offered congratulations — that you and your party have obviously convinced the great and gullible unwashed that when you use the word economy you are referring to the economic well-being of Canada and not our corporate bottom line. As Joseph Goebbels said in ‘28, “If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth.”

Many also asked me to hand on congratulations for your flyers. You almost have us convinced that you’re interested in constituents’ concerns, as opposed to ours. Good show! We need to find you a frequent flyer points award.

Our Zionist and Christian Zionist attendees implored me to thank you and your party for following through on equating any criticism of Israel’s Zionist government with anti-semitism. Irwin Cotler’s Parliamentary Coalition to Combat Anti-Semitism was a stroke of genius: It even has some Canadians believing that not only does Canada have a problem with anti-semitism, the coalition actually has some connection with Parliament. Great title!

Now makes it difficult, if not impossible, for anyone to question our unconditional support for Israel and its 65-year drive to eradicate Palestine and the Palestinians from the Middle East.

Of course our Pentecostal/ Evangelical members — led by our American brethren — are also totally behind our and Israel’s actions. However, John, many remain troubled over Stephen Harper’s lagging efforts to overturn Canada’s offensive laws on abortion, premarital sex, homosexuality and same-sex marriage.

Surely he’s not forgetting that we corporate execs and evangelical leaders positioned him there to do just that. So we’d like you to remind him, redouble your efforts, and get on with it.

We were also overjoyed that you’re finally coming through with our design for dividing up the Valley riding. With those loony lefties in Cumberland and Courtenay West and the Denman/ Hornby hippie anarchists out of our new riding, it should secure your seat and our influence into the foreseeable future.

On our side, we continue to enhance the Conservative coffers, get our people elected locally, and persevere with our letters to the editor denouncing scientists, climate change, unions, teachers, and Marxists/socialists: you know, that whole tin foil hat brigade.

Must run! Remember: stay on script; avoid the media; ignore constituents’ questions; keep up with the flyers. Remember Jimmy Flaherty’s mantra: Stay the course. Above all, John, and the most important point to remember: We who pay the piper call the tune.

Your mentor and defender,

Lou Cassivi,

Courtenay (West)